A homeless man in dtwn SF was blasting lil wayne and singing at the top of his lungs. I kinda wanted to give him my life savings
You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
I feel compelled to tell you that I woke up this morning and found an entire corn on the cob in my purse. Ive decided not to question my drunken behavior anymore, and to just accept it as my lifestyle.
Apparently last night drunk me put my phone in a cup of beer to make it "fun scented".
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
Let me be the 15% helpful, 85% useless as shit angel on your shoulder.
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
So apparently, after 11 beers, 2 pitchers of sangria and 3 rhum & cokes, the idea of popping a load of MD and jumping on the trampoline, in the woods, in my underwear was the best one ever.
Kyle passed out in the tub after breaking a glass and shouting, "WHAT ASSHOLE GAVE ME A GLASS?" His girlfriend gave it to him...
I forget how to act sober
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