Being alone has allowed me to flourish into a complete weirdo
He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right?
I fucked her wearing an American flag. Now here I am, awake, naked, and flag less. How do I report this to the police?
We're not piercing ourselves today.
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
I woke up and saw that my last google search was "Bacon neck".
Randomize
