I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
I just banged that chick from the bar by speaking french. all i had to do was recite my grocery list
well, duh, but it's like you don't even want to see me masturbate with a wine bottle.
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
holy shit I just remembered that story I told about Tom hanks going bowling while high.
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
Now you can NEVER tell anyone that on thanksgiving I took a selfie of my pussy to prove they don't get worse with babies.
Just got drunk at the Cheesecake Factory again. Made me think of you.
That's the nicest thing anyone's ever said to me.
I had to break up with her. She was sending me study schedules and recipes for vegan lasagna. I’m just trying to survive man
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
Randomize
