xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
No, drunk sperm still make babies.
beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
dude, never take two tylenol pm and smoke three bowls. i feel like i'm covered in cold ants.
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
While leaving the bar with another guy I told the bouncer I was sad his friend had a fiancee
You were drinking Everclear weren't you?
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
So i had a lucid dream about blowing myself. This is why people love me
You'll love it there. Trust me. Cheap tequila, pretentious beer, tall white guys who will treat you badly. Its got everything you like.
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