Definitely still drunk while signing the 'responsible adult' form at the hospital
just heard 2 nerds making fun of a girl for mispronouncing stochiometry. they followed it up by discussing the mathematical equation for getting laid. my day just became 100x better.
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
Maybe it was silver. I don't know. I was drunk sifting through my dogs vomit.
New high score, I made the stripper choke me while I was getting a lap dance last night
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
He had to put his grandma's photo away before I tied him to the bed. She doesn't need to see any of that.
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
I love you. I would never turn you into a bear.
Nothing is more confusing than dreaming about being chased by jets, then waking up with an erection.
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
Randomize
