I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
just found out i can blow out the flame on the grill lighter fill my mouth with butane and ignite a fireball
He told me the escort brought him pizza. Can something be sad and awesome at the same time ?
We knew it was a good time to leave when you spilt the salsa on the ground and were trying to put it back in the jar with your hands
Lying naked in bed eating carrot cake of off my bare breasts while watching Family Guy. Tonsilitis isn't all bad!
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
I've never been so tempted to check my phone during sex in my life.
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
How dare sober me try to tell drunk me I can't eat the applesauce in the fridge! Stingy bitch IM EATING THE APPLESAUCE! you can tell sober me I said that.
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
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