I think I sharted a yagerbomb.
just opened a can of spagetti o's with a butter knife. the things u will do for food when ur stoned.
you know you were refereeing rock paper scissors for who got to make out with your sister right?
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
YOU TOLD ME THAT YOU CAUGHT A TAXI HOME. SARAH SAID THE POLICE DROPPED YOU OFF.
A guy is going to be inside me and I'm gunna start singing "I am stuck on your penis, cause your penis is stuck in meeee!"
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
Well, she yelled at the stripper that she couldn't lick whipped cream off his nipples because she is lactose intolerant.
I just told my mormon professor that I was late because I was getting a STD test... good start to the day.
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
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