Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
Vegas for my brothers bachelor party. Just landed and I have a boner. I'm giggly and teary eyed I'm so excited.
I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
the table of underagers at this wedding were seated 10ft from the open bar. currently 30 open containers on the table for 5 people. dinner hasn't even been served yet.
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
Hey to make you feel better about last night, I just shit my pants.
Ugh..Yesterday was a complete alcohol fueled shit show. Not making eye contact with anyone today. Don't deserve it. Eye contact is for decent people.
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
I just lifted up my shirt to scratch my stomach n a Dorito flew out of my pullover n it legit scared me when it hit me.
We were like ok let's be eachothers maid of honor and then you were like "ok see you at the wedding" and walked away
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
He asked when the last time I had sex was. I had to look at the clock and respond "12 hours ago"
If you think me talking about that hot guy accepting my LinkedIn request is pornographic, I’m not sure how you’re gonna feel when I tell you I fucked a stranger on a park bench last weekend
Randomize
