The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
You sprayed lemon pledge on your crotch because it was "dusty"
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
I woke up to find his roommate face down on the couch with no pants on, with a sticky note that said "was lost but now am found"
It is. We should just be drunk all the time forever everything is like just 90% more perfect
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
He ripped down his Kate Upton poster while we were having sex last night. Im gonna take that as a good sign.
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
How did you get so drunk?
Alcohol.
She's celebrating a tinder-match-aversary and I'm not about that.
Randomize
