We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
she said I was laying next to a garbage can in the subway doing key bumps and screaming "its my fucking birthday" repeatedly
Just remembered when I bought that round of shots I told the girls to "get their whore friend" who was making out with her bf instead of drinking. I don't know why they stayed.
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
My boob is missing a layer of skin
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
Concept: I never actually flirt with anyone, I'm just a bitch and some people find it endearing
That awkward moment when you realize that last night you walked from in n out to petco, bought a mouse for $3, named it mogar, taught it how to skateboard on a techdeck, made it a home out of a trash can, fed it fruity pebbles and cheese, and then forgot where you left it.
you should come have a drink with me (non alcoholic or otherwise) im at the same bar as your sister and a few guys that would apparently "lick your butthole"-congratulations
cinco de mayo stole my toenail
cinco de mayo stole my virginity.
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