you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
So then the officer asked you how you were getting home and you told him "very carefully"
i purposely bought her a small sweater. My way of saying, you've gotten fat.
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
Dude... You called me at 3am to tell me you still had your pants.
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
I keep worrying the police are going to come looking for us.
For which one? Starting a fire on my porch or having sex on my porch?
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