that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
I couldn't sleep so I drunk ellipticaled for an hour. Worst. Idea. Ever.
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
I tried to lock you in the bathroom stall because you were too drunk. But you escaped from underneath, I gave up
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
I figured it out. If I have at least 4 shots of vodka before I start my day, EVERY day will be a good day.
A guy in a banana suit just got the whole bus to participate in a call and response version of Bohemian Rhapsody. HERO
I went eBay shopping last night. Turns out I brought a Viking drinking horn. I can't even be mad.
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
If she's over 40, she won't believe you if you say " I'm only going to put the head in"
I am eating a fluff-a-nutter sandwich at the gym right now. I brought vodka too.
Randomize
