Drunken horseback riding is the absolute worst decision i've ever made in my life.
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
You bit the bartender when he refused to poor rum in your purse and hand you a straw.
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
As I am reading this. I'm standing in my underwear eating taquitos. I'm saying this in the most loving way possible: FUCK OFF.
I snapchatted his face mid sex. Needless to say, I don't think I'll ever see him again.
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
drying my bra with a hair dryer wasn't exactly how I had planned on starting my day.
I'm finally in my bed, my pants are off, and there's no pee on my carpet this is the best life has been all day
i know it looks like there's pee in the mayo jar in the fridge but i promise it's just apple juice that wouldn't fit in the jug after i added the booze.
I woke up with a dread of barbecue sauce in my hair. Drunk munchies makes me a disgusting person.
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
He sang the chorus to “Inside of you” by Russel Brand in Forgetting Sarah Marshall as he proceeded to not pull out...
Honestly? I wouldn’t even be mad, that probably took talent
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