Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
She called us while she was having sex to ask if we remembered to feed the cat
I dont understand how her boyfriend puts up with her weirdness
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
I'm home now if you wanna come over.
Sloane just tried to lick my eyeball. I'm going to regain my composure then I'll be there.
I'm drunk eating a quesadilla while this kid is tryina come over and I'm just like no. I want the quesadilla.
The date went significantly better after the fifth shot of fireball.
YOUR STATE IS STUPID
Did you miss a turn again?
WHAT FUCKING IDIOT DECIDED TO DESIGN AN ENTIRE FUCKING STATE WHERE YOU CAN'T MAKE A FUCKING LEFT TURN?!? FUCK NEW JERSEY
I’m sorry my lady boner messed up your mojo!!
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