Um, that's called prostitution
Not if I leave it on the nightstand, then it's called cab money
I often get tempted to walk up to her drunk ass and say, "shouldn't you be taking care of your kid?"
When i walked in, you were in bed with a hot chick rolled up in a green blanket and said you were acting like a caterpillar..
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
There is nothing quite so pathetic as sitting in bed in your underwear eating easy mac in complete silence, waiting for Netflix to load
I can't remember dinner
Hahaha "rub in the ketchup on your face, It'll just look like blush." some gay waiter said that to you, and you go "good idea!"
My sobriety has gotten out of control. I think I need an intervention.
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
Going overboard is basically 75% of my personality
I'm a gorgeous hot mess
His cat just sat there and simultaneously bobbed his head up and down while I blew him
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
Randomize
