office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
Your mom has a birthmark right next to her nipple
I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
Dude stop singing. Your life is not an episode of fucking glee
Walk of shaming dressed as a zombie hunter. This hangover feels like the actual apocalypse.
I told her I was going to sleep early last night. I probably should not have sent that snapchat of us playing beer pong.
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
I don't care what the Chinese zodiac calendar says . . . 2015 is the year of the cock!
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
Text me later if you aren't dead and wanna have a drink later
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
I called you last night? What did I say??
That you love me forever and that I'm the greatest in the world now mohammed ali is dead...
Ugh im hungover from last night, and to top it all off, I think someone jacked my laptop.
umm ya, so we found it in the oven wrapped in a pillow case this morning
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