You're so nebulous sometimes
You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
it took everything i had not to yell out "your name means death in german!"
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
She told me she eats fruit when she's hungover because it has more water than water.
Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
College is a time for personal growth. Meaning it's time to start using those pickup lines on randos at dive bars.
He's upstairs shouting 'FUCK OFF I'M IN MY MOTHERFUCKING ZEN ZONE' out of the window.
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
Randomize
