so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
I'm buying a pregnancy test with my lunch money. Classy.
i'm high and 74% sure there's a monster in my closet
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
i dont care if it was her birthday. if she leaves me with a half rack of budweiser and her boyfriend obviously shits gonna go down.
So I realized I was officially over him when I was getting a lap dance on the keg bus at 3am from his old boss and I was double fisting:)
If the boyfriend of the drunk girl you just met asks her if she made a "special friend" you're going to have a threesome. For future reference.
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
dude I don't even care if I'm getting catfished the point is I'm going to get laid. hot bitch, fat bitch, skanky bitch, i don't care my penis is having an adventure tonight regardless
sometimes a perk of being a drug dealer is amazon gift cards. who knew?
Sober sex is weird like I didn't expect this when I got clean
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