I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
Took me 12 hours to be sober again. Shitshow mission accomplished
I love my life sometimes. I do miss being an adult, from time to time, but a little vodka always changes my mind.
Sometimes I feel like I should become a beautician purely for my ability to shave pretty shapes into my pubic hair.
You ran into the tattoo shop screaming PIERCE MY TITIES
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
I woke up in the bathroom clutching a stuffed shark. My night was fantastic, thanks for asking.
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
Randomize
