I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
My farts woke her up so I pretended to be keep sleeping.
this girl just gave me her phone number and 5 mins later right in front of me she is giving her number to another dude
call her and ask her what she thinks she's doing
Life lesson: Don't ever put your penis in a crazy girl. Especially if she's married. And has a kid.
alcohol turns me into mario batali of easy mac
He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
I couldn't be mad. She was crying because she fell bare ass into the rose bush trying to pee. So I held her up mid-stream and she peed on my feet. No big
He wasn't lying when he said he was immune to pepperspray. He pretended it burned for like 12 seconds and told the cops he was kidding he was alright. We'll be there soon.
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
When the nurse referred to my vag as "your downstairs", I knew I found the perfect Doctors office.
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
I don't mean to alarm you but are the strongest testicles in the family. I just learned I can lift 90 lb with my balls! Beat that.
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