Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
My brain says no but my pants say off.
He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
the snow is so cold on my vagina.
why do you have snow on your vagina?
vodka and heels.
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
I added "don't hook up with boys with girlfriends" to my new years resolution and realized how sad it was that it made me actually feel like a better person
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
I'm toasting stale bread and thinking of you
Is that a sex thing?
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
For a second I thought I had fallen asleep on the floor and freaked out. Then I thought somehow I was on drugs. This is my life.
Randomize
