So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
We thought you were crowd-surfing until we realized it was the bouncers throwing you out
I'm sorry to inform you but your friends with benefits card has expired has the beginning of the year. If you wish to renew your card you must submit a picture of a fully erect penis. Please note that not all request for a FWB card is accepted.
trying to figure out why the only thing in our freezer is an expired loaf of bread, a white t shirt, and a receipt from taco bell for 37.50 from last Friday
Nothing says "future AA member" like bonging 40's out of a plastic flamingo.
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
I am stoned, not wearing a bra, and a woman. There is no way in fuck I am getting on a fucking bus.
I HAVE A FLAME THROWER. COME SEE IT. IT’S SAFE AND WORKS.
I'm like, not good at living.
See that doesn't work because we've had sex so its awkward for you to call me mom
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