You'd think after all these years of evolution that it would be longer than a golf pencil.
i just googled "alcohol delivery service". im combating drunk driving one lazy act a time.
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
Yeah, if you don't like strip clubs you won't like microwave chimichangas.
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Hooker in the library. I repeat, we have a hooker in the library. This is not a drill.
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
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