Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
I don't know which is more embarrassing, the fact that I shat on the floor today or that I told you about it.
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
I've only been here for an hour and I've already made 6 babies cry.
Happy Birthday
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
I'm a little concerned about right now. You showed up at my house soaking wet, drunk with a bag of ham and 2 liter of Dr. Pepper, and you refused to tell me where you got the ham until I gave you some more liquor.
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
I think there is cocaine on my toothbrush.
Randomize
