Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
Yeah, I probably scared him away when I drunkenly told him we'd have beautiful children
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
Please make sure you have solid number of friends around you that wouldn't be afraid to break a bottle and stab someone. If you're planning on drinking all of that, you're going to need a safety net.
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
Burnt my boob on a piece of hot waffle at work today..I feel like thats a new low point in my career..
Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
I woke up with a pillow, shampoo and a plant in my fridge. Eggs in the toilet, and I was wearing three pairs of girls underwear. What happened last night
I woke up on the damn lawn again...it's not even summer yet
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