its raining. im dressed as yoda and im trick or treating alone. and i wonder why im still a virgin..
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
found a ham sandwich in the elevator it tasted so hungry and it was still fresh. dont be mad at me. you know you love ham.
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
if creating a fake 8 year old brother, who lives with me and has had mono for the past month, to explain why I have ignored my group project members is wrong, then I... well then I'm probably going to hell
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
Would it be inappropriate to send a friend request to the sheriff that fingerprinted me last night???
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