I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
i'm glad we're now at the level of friendship where we can comfortably discuss the quality of our shit
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
i will trade you pizza and a blowjob for a fifth of vodka.
do i get to eat the pizza while you give me the blowjob?
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
I spent half an hours grinding with a drunk Harry Potter cosplayer at the con rave. Pretty sure I felt his wand.
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
I just want to drink cheap wine and throw my bra at an aging singer songwriter
At some point the phrase "I've hit rock bottom" stopped having a meaning and became my general state of life
Dude, never piss off a hungover boss.
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
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