We had to use the stains on Phil's shirt to try to piece together what happened last night.
I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
Just got an email from TMobile. Said they were going to pursue "more qualified" candidates. So this is what rock bottom feels like.
are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
You. Me. A bottle of Vodka. The wilderness.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5.
Like how hard is it to come up to me with chocolate and wine and say "hey, you're beautiful. Wanna marathon Doctor Who in sweatpants?" Hell yes!
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
Randomize
