no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
I just saw her shopping list. The only things on it are blackberries, hot fudge and condoms. I almost don't wanna know. Almost.
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
I just realized I consumed seven different types of alcohol this weekend. And I'm only counting jungle juice as one of those. How the fuck did I not die?
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
BECKY! ITS ANDY FROM LAST NIGHT WITH THE PILL
Andy, Sorry you have the wrong number. But good luck with Becky!
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
ugh I gave him morning sex and he doesn't even text me back for my bagel order
Then you're three pancakes deep in regret.
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
Whiskey. Because sometimes it's fun to have your hands go numb.
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
He sent me a text saying his breakfast today was leftover mead and some fruit salad
Randomize
