just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
I wish Denzel Washington would coach my flip cup team..
I feel like someone was just looking at my memory and took out an eraser and was like "nope he doesnt need that"
Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
your like the ambassador to my penis.
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
Just opened up the freezer to find chocolate penis popsicles. Too hungover for this shit
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
Oh Jesus. Are you going to the hospital?
No I'm showering then leaving for Vegas
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
Randomize
