Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
Please tell me how you drunkenly remembered your social security number when we were checking you into the ER.
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
She straight up told me, "I don't care if he films as long as he's quiet." You sure you can't find the camera?
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
I'm always drunk lately
Now I'm in a game of hide and seek in Sears
This is Jewish guilt versus Irish Catholic guilt. We should tread carefully, or we could fuck up the space-time continuum or something.
I'm okay with that.
stop sending me battleship coordinates and get back here so i can suck your dick
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
My new boobs got me 12 drinks at the concert. Whose the real winner here?
Her hotness level dropped from an 8 to a 2 as soon as I walked into her place. It REEKED of cat piss and there was no litter box and NO CATS.
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
Randomize
