atleast your grandma didn't give you her USED dildo just so you wouldn't have sex.
you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
Ramen noodles and uncensored jerry springer episodes, what a nice life i have.
I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
i asked if you wanted help changing your sheets after you threw up in bed. you politely declined. i take no responsibility after that.
is year to celebrate how much I love you, I made a mosaic of your penis with conversation hearts. it's in your mailbox.\n\nHAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY TO YOU
I feel that the drunker I get, the drunker Facebook gets.
Bitch, it's 2 in the afternoon.
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
Just had ice cream and a blow job come together in one glorious, defining moment.
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
This little girl and her dad are walking behind me. "Why is he wearing pajamas?" Mind your own business, kid.
wanna see your best friend chug a bottle of steak sauce?
please go to sleep
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
Ya, It's probably because whenever I close my eyes I see a kitten playing a banjo.
Randomize
