i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
I hid 4 bags of cocaine in your house. Have fun finding them
today i did the best job ever shaving. like my vagina is PERFECT. plus i straightened my hair for a good hour. if i don't get ass tonight, i'm killing a baby.
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
He says he quit drinking. I'd like to have a moment of silence for losing the best drunken hookup ever. We will build a memorial to his awesome cock.
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
after tonight, seriously nothing could taste better than toothpaste
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
Donald Trump and I would be so adorably orange together!
I wanted lighthearted conversation about ordering bulk condoms and anal lube but he's depressed and talking about god hating him, ugh
Thanks for having me over last night. Sorry I licked rum off your kitchen floor.
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
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