Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
morning after pill = breakfast in bed
We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
You tried to get me to kick my booty call out at 3am by tempting me with a trip to ihop
WHERE ARE MY FUCKING EYEBROWS?!
No, but I woke up here and my pockets are full of raisins. Like 6 different pockets.
Christ, I really took the slutcake last night.
Wait. Someome brought slutcake?
Are you really surprised she can't remember? That's like 50 people. I couldn't rattle off all 50 state capitols off the top of my head, you're bound to forget a few here and there
We just got home a lil bit ago. No sorority girls showed except the ugly swimmer chick and she asked if I've ever faked an orgasm.
your life is not complete until you watch a gaggle of murderous clowns dance to gangnam style.
also, what is the correct term for a shit ton of clowns?
Hey! I need booze. And penises. And a lot of mistakes that I will regret in the morning.
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
It's the Ides of March, motherfucker. That means we're supposed to daydrink, right?
Randomize
