I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
woke up at my desk with a paper in front of me that says "people stranded on islands love having wet dreams" what the fuck happened last night
I just followed a trail of feathers and glitter to class. Today better be fucking magical.
And you just kept trying to fit through the dog door and not drop Jello shots.
Im celebrating the fact that the one guy who has ever denied me has just come out of the closet
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
My friends son got stung by a jellyfish over the weekend and we seriously stood there debating on whether or not we should pee on this toddler.
First time for everything: started posting a Facebook comment, decided I'm not quite sober enough. Progress.
Snaps to my Ella Fitzgerald station for such a jazzy walk of shame
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
I think I left my thong in your bed. Careful. It has the power to destroy the agitator on a washing machine
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