No more Irish car bombs ever.
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
There's a fried egg and an empty bottle of reddiwhip in the parking lot. Did you have fun last night?
I won't be able to make it. Too hung over. Can't hold down fluids. I'm in the bathtub trying to hydrate my body through osmosis. And yes, Tequila Tuesday is totally still on for tonight.
he doesn't even text me anymore.. he just facebook chats me a shark emoticon which has turned into code for 'be naked at my house in 15 mins'
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
I was apparently the best non-Irish person at the party. I wore my skating dress, Austrian flag and a giant shamrock. Everyone is calling me "30 Shots Girl".
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
I don’t want to brag, but vows, morals and will power are no match for my blow job skills
I just called my kid butt plug. Does that make me a bad mommy??
This may be the most diplomatic thing you've ever said
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