I just remember telling jokes while vomitting
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
Because it was 5am and I had a shitty mixed drink and I was threatening to put my balls in your face.
Not the worst first impression I've experienced.
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
When they send me to rehab, I'm screaming your name down the halls.
I mean he gave me an 'I owe you an orgasm' fist bump
doctors was a success... no liver damage and I lost five pounds.. we're celebrating tonight you get the whiskey I'll get the burritos.
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
I got conspiracy theory drunk.
Randomize
