I swear to god Optimus Prime and Megatron are fighting in my head right now.
This guy told us that for a dollar and two cigarettes he'd let Megan stomp on his crotch. We were gonna refuse, but we figured someone had to keep him from passing his stupid genes along.
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
If i'm not hungover, near death, and wondering what i did the night before on Monday, life is not worth living.
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
You disinfected one of his friends, buttered the jeans of the other one. And you poured every liquid you could reach on the floor, including cooking oil and green tea. It wasnt a great first impression
I think i can hear god laughing at me and yelling "thou shall pay for thy habits of underage drinking" through a megaphone directly at my eardrums
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
you put your hands over the taxi driver's eyes and shouted GUESS THE WAY TO THE CLUB
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
WHY DID YOU INVITE ALEX?!?
Because she offered to bring a keg.
And also because you fucked her in an alley last week and I'm trying to be a good friend.
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