Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
What's the most polite way to ask if you puked in my vase?
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
The jerky fairy visited my fridge. It's glorious.
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
so when our kids ask "when did you know you loved mommy?" you're gonna say "when she sent me emoticons about slobbing on my knob?"
I feel like the fact that I slept with someone who dresses up like Batman a few times will never be lived down.
She can't brag about all the anal sex she has and then expect me not to awkwardly stare at her boyfriend when she brings him around
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
I've got five complains from the landlord about she being too loud during sex in two weeks I'm marrying her
Randomize
