Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
I hate fucking guys that don't drink coffee. My morning hangover and shame will not be cured by your stupid tea.
Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
Next time I say "Watch this" Get me the fuck out of the bar.
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
I like the wholesome side of you
I'm so goddamned horny I could use all my pent up energy to tear a redwood out by its roots.
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
I woke up at 4am because the neighbors cat managed to sneak into my bed. HOW THE FUCK DOES THIS STUFF HAPPEN TO
Remember that time I came to London for 4 hours, got hammered, cried for an hour and then left.
Randomize
