How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
working out is totally making me break out.. i'm doomed to forever be either a butterface or a butterbod. there is no way out.
Goats are brash and offensive and cocky animals
Are you high and at a petting zoo again?
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
I just walked past a guy banging a chick in the back of his car.
If there was a card that said "I'm sorry for throwing up on your bathroom counter" I would send it to you.
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
I sent my roommate a text from MY phone that said, "I don't know where my phone is." Must've been a good night.
listen i get youre a daddy dom but that doesnt give you a pass to make dad jokes
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
She put her coat on went to leave and called me an asshole. I responded with "I never said I wasn't" and then she pounced on me like a cat on cat nip.
Randomize
