Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
I have new birth control, three bottles of jack, and some coupons for micky d's. You wanna have that sleepover?
Just got judged by the front desk clerk, 2 maids and a security guard at the Sheraton. I've decided to use this as a character building experience.
She carries a brick in her purse. I wouldn't get in a fight with her
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
i haven't seen you in two years and we have like 16 hours, all i want is cuddles, wine, and some light groping
Randomize
