dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
He felt like a one man threesome
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
I didn't even have time to sit down and the nurse was like: ''You've been having unprotected sex.'' HOW DOES SHE KNOW?!?
I show up hung over with mcdonalds. Why wouldn't he have sex with me? It's a fucking leap year...
I have their Unicorn picture in my shirt, and I just threw a Bud Light Platinum bottle through their window. We need to go now.
What kind of outfit says I totes want you to take me in the airplane bathroom?
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
He's a cop. Do you know how many times I've said fuck the police? This is my chance. I'm taking it.
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
Intelligence report: the hot sister called you gross, the sweet sister says you're dumb, and the smart sister says all the other men she knows would have to die for her to hook up with you.
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