my vagina has a 5:00 shadow
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
A guy at the bar bought me a jag bomb because I'm the chick that frosts his donuts at KT. Never have I been more proud of being a failure at life.
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
The best part of last night is not remembering half of it
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
Randomize
