Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
She was wasted. Kept yelling "what if I'm pregnant" and trying to push me into the tree. First and last time I bring a girl to my family christmas party.
today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
Found her in the closet eating mayo out of the jar with a knife
I told him I don't date guys unless they play a musical instrument. So, he's here and he brought a kazoo.
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish.
My 16 year old coworker just told me I should take my job more seriously after she watched me puke in the backroom trash can. Fuck teenagers with morals.
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
You gotta own your makeout pics Matt. They're like badges of honor
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
Randomize
