So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
I could hear his roommate in the background imitating my sex sounds...
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
I will pray to the gods of eye bleach for you
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
Dude. The only thing that I use less than my dick is my tennis racket. We need to play.
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
Listen, i know this is weird for you, but as your fuck buddy, id prefer if you didnt fuck her.
Youre asking too much from me
Randomize
