Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
There's half of a squirrel in the bathtub - i figured you'd be the one to go to.
How is it I was the last to know everyone calls me tig ole bitties? Did y'all have a meeting about this that I wasn't invited to?
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
We have so much sex to catch up on
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
She tried deep frying a banana by placing one, unpeeled, into a toaster.
Pretty sure I just pissed straight whiskey...
Holy shit he’s stupid hot! If you don’t hurry up and make a move my ovaries are going to march over there and introduce themselves
Randomize
