I'm home now. bring me food and boobies
i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
Down at cameli's and some homeless dude just pulled out a taser. Awesome.
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
Dude, I lost my shirt, and my doorknob is gone. I'm not sure which I should find first
There must be a happy medium universe where you get it on with my girlfriend enough to cause me pain but not a full on cardiac arrest. It's a fine line to tread though.
Last night you said you were going to stop drinking and then proceeded to dip cookies in your vodka.
Sadly that explains a lot.
I solemnly swear I will not get your boyfriend puke in public drunk again
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
We turned a wake into a bar crawl.
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
He’s like Batman if Batman went down on me and gave me multiple toe curling orgasms. He left without saying a word before I pulled the pillow off my face
Find out if he’s shared his techniques with a friend and set me up with him. You know I’ve always had a thing for Robin!!!!
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