doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
all i remember thinking as i was puking my intestines out is : wow.. this toilet does look like it's from the future.
So i told him he was the 3rd i have ever slept with and then i found out he had actually slept with 5 other girls besides me. And his reply was well your number one on this hand.
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
Frozen pudding on a popsicle stick. Bill Cosby would be so proud of drunk me.
Just had a flashback of dry humping a man lying in the street while Jim (dressed as santa) screams 'HAVE YOU BEEN A GOOD BOY?!'
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
As I came the Sportcenter app played that "dah nuh nuh" chime. Top ten life highlight?
He left for work so I drank pickle juice from his fridge
So, I have realized that I am kryptonite for married men. I'm not sure how to feel about this sober, but drunk me accepts her destiny.
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
In 18 months of being married we've had sex with 7 different couples. Who said you can't have your cake and eat it.
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
His birthday is on cinco de mayo and he doesn’t drink or like tacos. What a waste.
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