Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
Met the five year old's gym teacher for next year. He is an old drinking buddy and I used to fuck his older brother. It was like a walk of shame 20 years late.
If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
In case you were wondering, transporting lube in a ziploc bag is just as bad of an idea as it sounds.
i'm going to invent a mini fridge that can hang from faucets so i don't have to get out of the bathtub anymore for a cold beer. its a million dollar idea
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
Literally this kid just told me he's not planning to live past 30. Then he hit himself with a frying pan.
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
So....I just took a paddle fan on high speed to the side of the head while getting head...still finished the job, good thing I'm drunk and couldn't feel it.
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize
