I accidently shit my pants. So I tried to throw my underwear in their lake, but they floated. So in the middle of the night, I got into the paddle boat and had to throw a rock on top of them so they would sink. Next time, I just won't shit myself.
I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
I'm going to have to call in sick tomorrow. After this weekend, there's no way I can handle hearing the accountants talk about double entry without puking.
I am officially out of liquor stores within a 15 mile radius that don't recognize me as soon as I walk in the door.
She just fell in the river. Meet us downstream with the bottle.
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
I forgot to pack a bra for work today...you would not believe the extremes i've had to go through in order to keep these nips from my coworkers
Got laid at work. Yes, AT work, why they let me run this tennis center by myself speaks to their poor judge of character.
I made out with him in the club and he endorsed me on Linkedin. My networking skills are off the charts.
Nothing says depression like laying in your bed stoned, naked, and eating a cupcake
Don't do it. It's 9 am on a Monday morning and I'm hungover. I can't deal with tears right now.
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
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